


Hold

by Giggleteehee



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, I think i wrote angst, It'll get happy eventually, Reveal, never written angst before so forgive me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6457459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giggleteehee/pseuds/Giggleteehee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After resent events Marinette doesn't want to like Adrien anymore. It was supposed to be easy since he's oblivious but turns out to be a lot harder than anyone thought</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Marinette sat in her room with her knees to her chest. She’d just gotten home from Mr Fu’s again and was going over the information he’d given her. It was a lot to take in and she tried to focus on it.

“ _There were other Miraculous that needed wielders. Two Miraculous were missing, however Nooroo, the Moth Miraculous was with Howkmoth. Even Fu didn’t know who Hawkmoth was. He’d chosen both Chat Noir and me_.” She repeated like a spell.

However even with all that she found her thoughts going elsewhere, somewhere she didn’t want them.

“ _I’ve akumatised someone again. Lila hadn’t forgiven me. I was jealous and acted rash. I’d done it again_.”

“Tikki?” She finally spoke.

The small Kwami instantly flew into view. “Yes?”

“What do I do?” Her throat started to clench and she knew she was on the verge of crying.

Tikki knew too and sat on Marinette’s knee so she could calmly stroke the girl’s cheek. “Depends on what you want to do.”

“I don’t know.” She answered pitifully “I only know I’ve gone too far when it’s too late. Adrien even told me off and I deserved it.”

“Things like this tend to happen when you’ve fallen for someone. I’ve seen it time and time again, you’re far from the first.” She told her simply and truthfully but it didn’t help.

“I’m supposed to be the protector of Paris and I’ve akumatised three people! If I can’t get my feelings under control then how can I keep Paris safe? How can I keep the ones I care about safe?”

“Adrien was safe, it was an illusion.” Tikki knew what Marinette was hinting at.

“But if it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t have been in that kind of situation anyway.” She felt the tears swelling but refused to cry. It was her own fault, she didn’t deserve to cry.

Tikki flew up and hugged Marinette’s cheek. “It’s hard when it’s your first but you’ll be able to control it, you only need time.”

“It’s been nearly a year. School will finish soon and I’m only getting worse.”

“You’ll learn.”

“If I haven’t now I won’t ever.” She mumbled and they stayed silent for a long time.

As Marinette calmed down she saw one solution. It was fitting and with the holidays coming up it was do able. She’d get Alya’s help. She’d stop herself from making the same mistakes a fourth time.

Taking a breath she finally said “I’m going to stop it.”

Tikki looked at the determination in her chosen’s eyes are realised she was serious. “It’s not that simple Mari.”

“I know, but I have to try.” She turned to her worried friend and gave a weak smile “Decides he barely knows I exist, he won’t notice and he’d never care for someone like me anyway.” She answered bitterly, knowing it was true.

 

* * *

 

Later that day Marinette told Alya that she didn’t want to like Adrien anymore. Her friend was confused and tried to get answers out of her but she gave none. She pleaded for Marinette to think about it but she already had. She talked about other options refusing to agree to let her friend give up for no reason. However Marinette refused.

“He doesn’t like me, I’ve tried for a year and nothing. I don’t care anymore. All I want is for it to stop and I can’t do it alone.” She looked at her friend “Please don’t make me do it alone.” Her voice cracked.

Alya looked at her friend long and hard. They’d only known each other for less than a year but it’d felt like a life time. She knew Adrien was her first crush, she knew Marinette wasn’t good at handling it at the best of times but she’d never expected this.

Marinette looked nearly broken. Something must’ve happened but she wouldn’t answer. No matter how much Alya tried she could see a fire in her eyes and knew it was hopeless.

“You’re never alone. I will always be there.” She told her as she reached out to grip her fragile hands. “I just wish you’d tell me more.”

Marinette said nothing. She just leaned against her friends shoulder and fought back the tears for the second time that day.

 

* * *

 

 

Two months went on in a haze. Knowing she’d still have to see Adrien every day at school she made sure to make as little contact with him as she could. If he said good morning she’d smile but not say a word. When Nino suggested the four hang out she made excuses and Alya would be back her up.

She’d taken his pictures off her walls and threw away all the magazines she had of him. She’d kept some for the designs but tore any pages that had him. She needed him out of her life to forget.

She was doing better than she’d thought she would. It took a while as she watched Lila and Chloe fawn over Adrien. She could feel it in her chest and couldn’t stop the frown every time Chloe tried to provoke her with it.

However time can change things. She learned to force it away and although it left her numb it was better than hurt. The numbness started to show more as she lost interest in things like sawing. Even during akuma attacks she couldn’t bring herself to feel. Chat Noir had noticed and tried to talk about it but she’d brush him off. She knew Alya and her parents were worried too but she didn’t want to risk feeling again.

So she didn’t. She just kept hiding it.

 

* * *

 

 

The last month started to pass and Marinette felt nothing but the occasional clench in her chest. She was alright with that. The tension would eventually go. It was because of that, though that she never realised what was happening. To her or him.

 

* * *

 

 

He’d noticed.

He’d noticed for a while.

At first it was subtle. Like her lack of stuttering or sudden blushed. He’d thought it meant she was finally warming up to him. He’d hoped that meant he could talk to her.

He was wrong.

He watched as she slowly got farther and farther away. How she’d always be busy when it came to hanging with him. How she’d avoid any conversation with him by cutting it short.

He’d especially noticed her absence when interacting with Chloe.

He’d noticed. He’d noticed and it hurt him more than he knew capable.

He suddenly felt like he’d lost some warmth. Lost something in his chest. An absence in his day that left him feeling alone at night. Not even Ladybug's presence helped. Nothing could replace the spot that Marinette filled. Nothing.

“Why not talk to her?” Plagg had suggested as he watched the boy become more and more hollow

“Because she won’t let me.” He mumbled

“Then go to her as Chat Noir, she always acted better around him.” He’d meant it as helpful advice. However it did the opposite.

“I don’t want her to talk to Chat Noir, I want her to talk to me! Adrien! What did I ever do? Why does she hate me? Why does it feel like something been taken from me?” He pleaded to the small Kwami as he buried himself deeper into his arms.

Plagg watched his chosen get smaller and smaller. He floated to the boys arms to sit on them cautiously. He rubbed his head against his hair and purred to show comfort. He’d never seen Adrien like this and he didn’t like it.

“I don’t know kid.” He answered truthfully “God I wish I did but I don’t.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was the final day of school. Marinette had to stay behind to return some books. Because it’d started raining she’d told Alya to head home without her. Now she walked to the front steps and listened to the rain.

She hated the rain. It reminded her too much of him. Of why she felt anything for him in the first place.

“ _Why couldn’t he have just left me that day? It would’ve been better_.”

She’d only taken a few steps outside when she heard someone call her name. Only half aware she turned to the source and froze. Walking towards her was none other than Adrien Agreste.

“You’re leaving late.” He tried for small talk

“I had things to do but now I need to go home to help at the bakery.” She said simply and turned to leave.

“Are you going to be alright? I mean it’s raining pretty hard.” He continued to try and get anything out of her

“It’s only water, I’ll survive.” She went to keep moving but every time he spoke she found herself pausing. There was something in his voice that wouldn’t leave her alone and she didn’t know what.

“I’ve got an umbrella. Gorilla’s on their way to pick me up so I don’t need it.”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Are you?” He stepped closer and the rain poured down on both of them. She halted, shell shocked at his question but at least it was something.

“Marinette, did I do something? You’ve been avoiding me for a while now…”

“I have to go.” She barely said as she tried to leave but his hand grabbed her wrist

“Marinette please just talk to me.” She realised why the tone of his voice had such an effect on her. It sounded as torn as her own.

“Let go.” She whispered

“What?”

“Let go!” She suddenly screamed and Adrien jumped away from her like she’d electrocuted him. In a way she guessed she had.

Slowly she turned to finally face him. They both wished she hadn’t. With the rain it was too hard to tell but it looked like they were on the verge of crying. Or maybe they already were?

However what really got them was the pain in the other’s eyes. The silent agony they were going through.

“Let me go.” She pronounced each word like they cut her deeper and deeper.

He took a step back.

She ran.

He stood there for a while before walking in the direction of his house.

Once Marinette got home she didn’t even greet her parents. She dashed passed them to get to her room. Slamming the door open and stumbling in she didn’t even bother to close it. She’d wanted to make it to her bed but couldn’t. She collapsed onto her chaise before the burning screams ripped through her and she finally crumbled.

Adrien walked into his house to be greeted by Nathalie telling him off for not waiting for the car or using his umbrella. However when she saw the boys eyes the rest of her complaints died.

Adrien walked into his room before shutting the door closed behind him. He leaned on it for support as the last of his will to move evaporated. Plagg, noticing the lack of movement popped his head out and saw nothing but a blank, unreadable expression on him.

Flying up to his face he said “You still with us, kid?”

Whatever had kept him together shattered as tears poured down his face. “It hurts.” Was all he could get out before gravity took its toll. He collapsed onto the ground as he finally broke and felt the last of his world crumble.


	2. Chapter 2

The new year started and only a handful of people knew what events had occurred that day. Alya had gotten a call from Marinette’s parents worried about what had happened. Eventually Marinette told Alya who passed it onto her parents.

Adrien could only tell Nino but it was enough. After seeing him in such a state and hearing him behind his door Nathalie herself called his friend and let him stay over. Once Adrien was calm enough he explained everything and all his best friend could do was listen.

Nino and Alya spent most of their spear time with they’re broken friends, trying to get them to feel again. When they could they’d meet up and compare notes.

“Is it considered getting better when they stop feeling altogether?” Nino asked mournfully as he and Alya sat together at the park

“No.” She said simply

“Why did Marinette decide this?”

“I don’t know, she wouldn’t say.”

“What are we going to do?”

“Support them.”

“How? They broke each other and refuse to fix it.” Nino looked desperately at Alya, the girl who always had an answer.

She looked as tired as he did. “I don’t know.”

“That’s not what I wanted to hear.”

“Well that’s all I’ve got. Marinette tried for three months to get over Adrien and in a way it was working.” The words started leaking out of Alya before she could stop them “I asked and pleaded for her to think about it, how hard this was going to be but she was determined. Determined! So I agreed and even though she got hollower and hollower I did nothing because this was what she wanted. But god who would’ve thought Adrien, clueless Adrien would notice.” She buried her face in her hands and shrunk.

Nino wrapped an arm around her “People often say that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Adrien was that saying. He never realised his feelings for Mari until they were gone. He’d lost his mother, his father was never around and I think that took a bigger toll on him than he realised, making him oblivious.” He laughed bitterly.

Alya looked up and stared Nino in the eyes. He looked down at hers and was a little shocked to see she wasn’t crying, not yet at least. “What do we do?” She asked desperately.

He put his other arm around her and pulled her head into his shoulder. He didn’t want to see her face when he told her his next words so held her close for the both of them.

“I don’t know.” He whispered.

 

* * *

 

When school started things were, in a way, better. Marinette had left the house, worked in the bakery and gone out with friends. Alya staying with her every chance she could.

Adrien was the same. He went to his modelling shoots and performed exactly as he was supposed to. He went out more thanks to Nathalie and even his father tried to have breakfast or dinner with him after hearing about his breakdown. Nino was always there.

Ladybug and Chat Noir never changed, not really. They were more closed off but still performed their duties. Neither could even tell the other had been through something. They’d both disguised it well.

However when they found out their classes and new sitting arrangements they couldn’t help but cringe. Chloe was with them again. Marinette and Alya were on the opposite side of the room and one row back. Adrien and Nino were also on the opposite side however were in the last row, with the backs of Alya’s and Marinette’s heads in front of them.

“You going to be alright, man?” Nino leaned in so no one could hear.

He nodded “It’s fine.”

Alya whisper to her own friend “This alright with you? We could ask the teacher to change?”

She shook her head “It’ll be fine.”

 

* * *

 

A few weeks passed and things weren’t as bad as they could’ve been. Lila had gotten bored of Adrien which just left him with Chloe. Apart from class he never saw Marinette and the fact that he could only see the back of her head and not her face helped.

He still wanted to know what he’d done but after what had happened last time, was too scared. He found other ways to distract him and the thoughts of her rarely returned.

Marinette felt the same. Happy that she no longer had him in front of her she found it easier to concentrate in class. Although she’d never gotten over that rainy day, just like before the feeling turned numb and forgotten.

They weren’t happy but they weren’t hurt either. They just kept holding it in.

That was until something smashed the windows of their classroom. Marinette covering her head with her arms, Alya doing the same.

“Hello folks, if you’d be so kind as to hand over a hostage.” The akuma spoke and his one eye fell on Marinette. He grinned wickedly “I think I saw you with that cat once. You’ll do perfectly.” He dove for her.

Both Adrien and Marinette reacted. Marinette pushed Alya under their desk and climbed on top before dashing for the door. Adrien made sure everyone was alright before running after her. He knew he probably shouldn't without being Chat but he couldn't seem to cared. Not when she was in danger.

His heart pounded in his ears as he chased after them. Thoughts and ideas racing through his head as he finally found them. He went the opposite way to her so they could intercept each other. Hiding behind a corner he waited for her to run passed before pulling her around with him. She gasped before coming face to face with him.

“Let me go.” She tried to wriggle out of his arms

“No.” He simply told her but his voice was rich with something she couldn’t put her finger on. She looked up at him but he turned and started pulling her along.

They ducked into an empty classroom and he shoved her under a high desk before they heard the door crash open. The akuma was calling for her but she could barely hear over the sound of her heart beat. Adrien was next to her, twisting the ring on his finger. He turned to say something when a scream came from the door.

“You’ll work.” The akuma chimed before the room was silent.

Instantly Marinette went to move when Adrien grabbed her wrist and shook his head. Cautiously he poked his head a round the corner before getting up. He turned around and offered her a hand she didn’t take.

“I’d better leave.” She said simply and turned towards the door.

The events from the last time they’d been together started playing in her head again. She found it hard to breathe and had to get out. Adrien had the same thoughts going through his head but after holding her for that short second he knew he never wanted to let go.

So he didn’t. Not this time.

“Wait!” He grabbed her wrist.

She was completely paralyzed by his firm yet warm grip on her. She felt the icy wall she’d managed to recreate start to melt. She knew if she didn’t get away soon she’d break again.

“ _Just a little longer_.” She willed it

“Marinette please.” His voice broke her thought. He somehow sounded both determined and weak, making her melt faster. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did and it’s killing me that I don’t but whatever it was I’m sorry.”

She stayed silent, too afraid to open her mouth. He pressed on. “I hate that you don’t talk to me anymore.” He let his feelings pour out so she knew exactly what he was thinking. “I hate that you don’t even look at me anymore or even when you do you look passed me. I thought we were friends, I hoped to get to know you more but then I did something and-” His voice broke with a croak as he found it harder to speak.

“ _It wasn’t you, it was me. Let me go, you’d never really care about me anyway_.” She thought but still couldn’t bring herself to speak.

“I’m sorry. I can’t even begin to tell you how utterly and completely sorry I am for whatever I did to make you hate me like this. But I _need_ you Marinette, I’ve lost too much to lose you too.”

“ _Stop_.” She pleaded

“I’ll do anything to make it better, please.”

“ _Let me go_.”

“I can’t take us being like this anymore.”

“ _Neither can I_.”

“Marinette, please I-” He pause when he saw the tears running down her cheeks and she was shivering uncontrollably with blown eyes. However he didn’t want to stop. She hadn’t yelled, hadn’t tried to get away.

He took a breath. “Marinette I love you but you hate me and I can’t take that.” Her eyes finally found their way to his as the tears continued but the shacking stopped. “What can I do to make you notice me?”

She stood there for a long time. Or maybe it was no time at all? Had she heard him right? There was no way Adrien could’ve said any of those things, especially after she’d been so cruel and cold to him. There was no possible way.

“ _So why do his eyes tell you otherwise_?” A small voice spoke “ _Why does he sound so desperate? Why are you trying so hard to convince yourself otherwise? You only started this because you thought he couldn’t love you, but he proved you wrong._ ”

“Why?” She voiced this time, having been the only thing she knew how to say at the moment.

Adrien smiled a little at the fact she had at least asked and not pulled away. “Because you made me feel _needed_ , whether I knew it or not. We barely talked but you were always so strong and kind and had such a way with everyone. I thought the feeling you gave me was just the need to know you but god was I wrong.” He looked at her again, still holding her wrist “You are everything anyone could need and you don’t even try. You simply laugh and the world is brighter but when you stopped… One day you just stopped.”

He looked at her and she saw the pain of what he was talking about “What did I do to make it stop?”

She found herself speaking before she knew it. “It wasn’t you it was me. I did horrible things when I got jealous and couldn’t take it anymore. You can’t love me Adrien, you don’t know me.” She pulled her wrist from his hand, not harshly and stared at her palms “I’m a monster.”

“Marinette-” He tried but she cut him off

“I am!” Now her feelings were overflowing but these were the ones she couldn’t tell anyone but Tikki. The ones she’d truly tied to hide. “I had the biggest crush on you, all of last year and where did that lead me? To akumatising two people! Actually I akumatised three but that one wasn’t out of jealousy, it was my own damn ego.” She took a step back as he took one forward.

“I’m supposed to be the protector of Paris and I nearly killed you because of that stupid crush and here you are thinking I’m things like _kind_ and _warm_.” She hugged herself “But I’m not. I wish I was but I’m not and if I couldn’t control it it’d only get worse so I tried get rid of it but you… You weren’t supposed to notice, you weren’t supposed to care and god you were not supposed to think you loved me.”

There was silence. Adrien waited for her breath to ease before speaking again in a soft, soothing tone. “I do care and I wish I’d noticed sooner.” He took a tentative step towards her and when she didn’t move he rushed forward and crushed her into his chest.

“Mari, I don’t even know how to describe how in love with you I am that it hurts that you don’t believe me. The fact that you do things like get jealous only makes me love you more because that means you cared about me enough that only you could have me. No one has ever wanted me. Yet you were the one person that did and that means more to me than anything.”

She stayed silent so he pressed a kiss on the top of her head. She flinched but didn’t move away. He smiled down at her before continuing.

“You’re Ladybug. You’re Marinette Dupain-Cheng. You could be a potato for all I cared.” She made a sound at that “All your flaws, all your perfections, I’d take them in a heartbeat if you’d just look at me the way you used to.” He hugged her tighter.

She felt a rush of emotions at his confessions. For a second she tried to deny it again but realised how stupid that was. They'd both plainly been honest, meaning he really did feel those things for her. For the first time in a while she felt warm.

Slowly, she put her arms around him. Finally she asked “Why a potato?”

He looked down at her and couldn’t help the smile. “Because I like potatoes.”

“You’re weird.” She buried herself deeper in his chest.

He snorted “Oh come on _purr_ -incess. Potatoes are _paw_ -some.”

Marinette shot her head up to see him grinning down at her. With the way his eyes sparkled and the crookedness of his grin, she instantly knew.

“Oh my god.” Was all she could respond with as she tried to back up but he didn’t let her.

“Well since you let your _Chat_ out of the bag I thought I’d let mine.” He winked and she covered her face with her hands and groaned into his chest.

He laughed for the first time in a long time. Eventually Marinette joined as they slumped to the ground. They were exhausted yet wide awake.

They just sat there holding each other until Marinette broke the silence. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

“But you didn’t do anything.” She looked at him

“Exactly. I should’ve spoken to you from the very start but didn’t know how.”

She thought about it “Well I’m still sorry.”

He hugged her tighter and finally asked something he’d wanted to know since they’d started talking. “Do you still like me?”

“No.” She answered but the bliss in her voice made him look down to see her smiling up at him. He raised an eyebrow “I’m pretty sure I love you.”

He cracked a Cheshire grin at her “What do you mean ‘ _pretty sure_ ’?”

“I might need a little more convincing.” She slyly answered despite her burning cheeks.

“I think I’ve got a way.”

Meeting half way, they both leaned in. People say how you see fireworks or feel a spark or something when you first kiss someone you love. They didn’t. Instead they just felt the others warmth and the softness of their lips. And that was what they needed.

Marinette pulled back first, to Adrien’s disappointment. “There’s still an akuma.” She breathed

“It can wait a little longer.” He went in for another and she let him

“We should really go.” She tried as he went in for a third

“In a minute.”

“Chat.”

“Buganette.” He kissed her a fourth time “Just say those three words and this’ll all be over.” A fifth

“Tikki, transform me.”

He felt a rush of air and a flash of light. Blinking he stared at the polka dotted heroine and pouted “That’s not what I meant.”

She got off him and put her hands on her hips. “Too bad.”

Sighing he got up and transform.

 

* * *

 

Adrien and Marinette had spent the rest of the day together, talking and sorting things out. There was a lot more to discuss but since they’d gotten the most difficult part done, the rest was a breeze.

Marinette was still cautious and weary about her jealousy. After a long talk Adrien had convinced her to simply tell him when she felt it and he’d do his best to stop. Though he couldn’t make promised with things like Chloe and modelling it was still something.

Adrien was still a little scared of losing her because of him doing something or nothing again. Again they agreed to tell the other so that they knew. Seeing as not talking was what coursed the problem.

Once they felt like they’d discussed all they needed they called their best friends to meet them in the park. The instant Nino and Alya saw the two standing together they rushed them into painful hugs.

Nino practically picked Adrien up as he cheered for his friend. Adrien could help but laugh and hugged his friend back.

Alya had finally released the tears she’d been holding back since it all began and buried herself into her friend neck. Marinette did the same, whispering apologises and gratitude into her wide hair.

“So!” Nino began as he hooked an arm around Adrien’s shoulder, refusing to let go of his friend “You two have made up? We’re all buds again?”

Marinette, who was still cuddling Alya, exchanged a cheeky glance with Adrien. Together they said “Nope.”

Nino and Alya looked at their besties before each other, feeling utterly confused. “What do you mean, ‘ _nope_ ’?” Alya asked, detaching herself from her friend

“I’m afraid we aren’t quiet friends anymore.” Adrien gave a dramatic, dejected sigh and Mari roller her eyes.

Nino didn’t seem to understand but as Alya took a step back to confirm her suspicions she saw right through them. “Oh my god.” She suddenly burst into a giggling mess “Oh my freaking gumdrops!” She hugged her friend again and they both laughed.

“What?” Nino looked confused and left out “What am I missing?”

Alya pulled herself from her Marinette and grabbed Nino away from Adrien. Pulling Nino beside her they watched as Adrien took Marinette’s hand in his own. A little red they both smiled at their friends.

“Oh.” Was all Nino could muster as a stupid grin spread across his face.

“Yeah.” They three answered.


End file.
